school shooting

so today i was outside waiting for my partner to return from home from his job as a math teacher at a local high school...twenty minutes after he was supposed to appear in the driveway, i was beginning to wonder where he was...i went back in the house and found that there was a message on my answering machine....'hi, we are under a lock-down...i don't know what's going on...i'll call you later'...i quickly turned on the news to discover that there was a shooting at his school...a fourteen year old boy was shot...and so the worry begins...i can't call the school as it's under lock down and no one is around to answer the phone...so i wait...i watch the news...i talk with my mother who tells me not to go to there and wait for him...his mother calls and we manage to discuss what's going on (she's deaf so the conversation has to be repeated and spoken slowly)...speaking the words slowly 'there's been in a shooting' really sinks in, hard...i can't believe that a high school in my town is under attack by someone...who?...a thug more than likely...but what if he goes on a shoots others??...although i sort of figure this is a vendetta against the dead boy, but why?....who cares i think, just let everyone go and get on with things....it's amazing to think what goes on in you mind when you are faced with what used to be an 'american' problem...not any more...high school violence is on the rise everywhere, so why not here in toronto?...five hours after the lock-down, i'm still waiting for joel to return home...he called and we've spoken, he's ok...but i seem to be not...i'm pacing the lawn looking like julian from trailer park boys, a glass of scotch on the rocks in one hand and the other is cursing the sky...why is the world such a wicked, wicked place???...

this blog entry was written while under the influence of stress and jb scotch...let me head clear a bit and i'll write more...